5 Healthy Self-Help Habits to Reverse Negative Thinking – You have the Power to Change your life
Hello and welcome to the Jonry Heyce website, this is my inaugural episode. And it’s all about Healthy Self-Help Habits to stop and reverse negative thinking, which blocks your growth. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past couple of years, it’s that there’s a lot we can’t control in life.
As we settle into 2022, I want to focus on the things I can control — the most important thing being yours and my self-care and health.
If you’ve been here before welcome back, happy to see you again.
Our first topic is going to be a really cool and informative episode to help you stop yourself every time you think a negative non-serving thought.
This is because negative thoughts are something that we all deal with all the time. There are so many different things that cause negative thoughts in our lives and there are different things that you can do to keep those negative thoughts from taking root in your mind. I’m going to be sharing it all with you today.
Before we get into the habits, please take a moment to make sure that you are subscribed to my newsletter and receive a free gift that I will let you discover.
The reason why I love this resource and all contents of my newsletter and I know you will too is because this resource gives you the steps you need to press reboot for your life when faced with challenges or a feeling of being stuck.
Also, this year we are taking this journey of self-care and self-help to a higher level so that we can also boost our immunity to avoid the rampant viruses affecting the world today physically, spiritually, emotionally, economically, etc. Download the Resource Now.
Without any further ado, I will stop rambling and let’s get into the habits
5 Healthy Self-Help Habits to Stop Negativity and Toxicity in your life
#1. Stop Focusing on & replaying negative thoughts
The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. Negative thoughts can drain your energy and keep you away from the present moment.
Can you change the past? I guess not. The past is done. One of my mentors told us this story:
“One time he went to the theater and the comedian told a joke the first time and everyone was laughing hard, standing ovation called etc. Then he told the same joke again. The audience laughed, but this time, no standing ovation or clapping. Then he said it again. A few people laughed nervously, and the rest were looking, a wee bit confused. He told the same joke the fourth time and people started booing and some walked out…”
Consider that joke your negative thought, the first time that event happens, it is understandable to give it your all – “standing ovation, clapping et al” resources, time, thoughts, effort, etc. If you can do something about it, do it, if you cannot, find someone who can, if there is none, let God or whatever higher power you believe in, take control.
Either way, don’t dwell on negative thoughts or a challenge until it consumes you. Because you will end up with just you and your joke aka challenge on your stage of life. And that is not fun. Replaying them thoughts over and over will only keep you in a loop of unhappiness. Ever heard the saying;
“Misery loves company”
Well, that’s what happens, focusing on negative thoughts attracts more negativity into your life. That’s what the Law of Attraction tells us as well.
So, do whatever it takes in your power to move forward in your life.
I know, there are things that have happened in your life, for instance;
- Financial decisions that didn’t work
- Relationships that hit the brakes, not your choice…
- Things that happened that you can’t go back and change
It is next to impossible to fully get rid of negative thoughts or emotions. But the good news is you can stop yourself from focusing on them, not to be overpowered by these negative thoughts. Just let them drift by.
How do you do that?
Peace begins with a smile. The more you smile the less you worry. Once you receive those negative thoughts that remind you of the bad events or make you feel sorry for yourself or think bad about others for whatever reason. Practically take yourself in front of a mirror and force yourself to smile. It helps to change your mood and relieve stress. I have mirrors in every corner of my house to help me smile once I get those negative thoughts. I always tell the negative thought while looking at myself in the mirror; “You’re nothing I am smiling through you negative thoughts.”
It helps to feel lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to sulk.
- Do an activity that you like.
Gym, yoga, swimming, singing, sewing, walking, dancing, reading, cooking, or running, you name it.
Doing something that you enjoy takes your focus away from your thoughts and brings your attention to your breaths, or to that actual activity. Such activities can be relaxing, which helps to ease your mind. It makes you focus on the present experience rather than jumping to the past bad thoughts or worrying about what could happen. This can bring you back to the now which is the most important moment. After such a session you feel rejuvenated and ready for refresh thoughts.
- Frame yourself with helpful individuals.
Talk to a friend who you know is constructive and loving. Whenever you find yourself stuck in a negative twist, talk to a person who can put things into perspective rather than someone who will feed your negative thinking. We all know our friends. There are some very good people, but always negative, do not go to them.
- Challenge yourself:
Ask yourself why you’re having such thoughts. Why you’re being negative about that situation. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive. Tell yourself that you have gone through it before and you’re okay and ready to move on, it is not going to happen again.
- Take responsibility.
Don’t play the victim. Evaluate your thought with genuine thinking. Do not be stuck in the situation, remember you have the power to make yourself happy. You create your life. If it is a situation whereby you need to apologize do it. Do what you need to do to change the thoughts nagging you. If there are changes that need to be addressed make the initiation, do not look for people to blame.
- Remember, No one is perfect.
Give yourself some grace to move forward. Dwelling on past mistakes can only make you feel terrible. Always learn from your mistakes. Take all the lessons from it and leave behind the wrongs never to do them again because now you know. If the negative thoughts come, instead think about the lessons learned.
You have to realize that what’s done is done, move forward stop replaying it. Remember, YOU ARE NOT A TREE stuck in one place. Even trees spread their leaves and pollen.
So, reacquaint yourself with what makes you happy as a human without anyone else involved, from the inside. That will attract more of that energy to you.
#2. Are you thankless?
Then I cannot tell you enough the value of gratitude and being in a state of thankfulness, whatever life throws at you. Despite, the challenges of life, we each have something someone else is praying and crying out to the universe for, esp. life.
We must practice gratitude and count our blessings daily. I mean literally writing down every morning at least 5-10 things you are grateful for and feeling the feelings of gratitude for having those things. At first, you may find it a bit meeerrg, weird yet you will get into it and start to realize how lucky you are to be where you are.
Remembering the positives, let’s call them the good times or vibes in your life raises your energy to attract more of those good vibes.
I don’t want to sound like a broken record with this one because I talk about positivity all of the time, yet I can’t stop talking about it because if I am asked:
What is your number one recommendation to have someone else figure out how to self-help and find their happiness?
My #1 top answer every single time without a doubt will always be “Practicing Gratitude“.
Appreciating the little things is the beginning of living a happy life. Scientific research has revealed that happiness, to a large extent, is one’s choice. Yet many times it feels so hard to choose it. It is little things like hearing your favorite song come on the radio, being inside and hearing raindrops falling on the roof or on the trampoline, being grateful that you have a roof over you, looking at the snow outside while you’re in the car being thankful that you can drive on it. The little things are what gratification is composed of. Studies discovered that exercising appreciation is a key element to a happy life. If you’re pleased with the little things that make you smile there is no doubt that you’re on the right path of happiness.
Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here are some of the things I am grateful for today:
- My health: I can work full time without health restrictions
- I have children with whom we always have a word so I do not have a boring house.
- Our holidays to the motherland, Uganda.
- My husband with whom we share a love of partying together
- My lifestyle – jobs, cars, home.
Your turn, what are you grateful for?
I normally have a gratitude session when I am driving, that’s my quiet time. Depending on your faith or beliefs, for me, it is my God. That’s why I think about all the small things around me, the food in my fridge, my friends, my family, my manager, my work colleagues, my neighbor, my background, the parties I attend, my night sleep, the list is endless, those are the things that can easily disrupt our peace.
When is your quiet time, or your time to be thankful? These days life is so busy that you can fail to get time to stop and appreciate what you have. Which means you can easily fail to get time to enjoy your achievements.
Whenever I consciously acknowledge and count my blessings, I:
- feel happier,
- less triggered and
- able to handle challenges better.
- I feel satisfaction
Purely because gratitude is at my core whatever life throws at me, I find the lesson in the challenges or enjoy the blessings.
Everything that’s in my life, that I have achieved, everything that I have around me, I attribute to my practice of and feeling gratitude.
Simple Exercise: Every time you think a negative thought, try to consciously STOP that train of thought, think of its opposite positive, focus on that for at least 20 seconds, speak it out loud if you can while noticing in your mind’s eye the negative thought dissolving and becoming invisible.
The above practice makes it much harder for me to have negative thoughts because I don’t let them take root. It does take time to make this a habit, yet once you nail it, your life will be so much happier and balanced.
Gratitude Changes Everything.
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey
#3 Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining.
One of the world’s greatest life coaches Graham Cooke once said:
When you are faced with a challenge, find the lesson in it, and use that as the stairway to your next upgrade.
I call that the silver lining in every situation that comes.
Finding the silver lining means looking for the good or positive slant from every situation, especially when things are hard. I believe that there’s always something that you can find in that situation to lift you up and move forward. I believe that is why Thessalonians 5:18 says
“Be thankful in every circumstance, for this is God’s will in Christ Jesus for you.”
It may be the worst situation but find a lesson to learn from it. Yes, it may suck a lot, yet that situation is a doorway to a positive outcome.
I am not saying, every negative challenge can be treated like this easily. Because there are moments in life where you can’t find the silver lining. For instance, if a young person is murdered needlessly or dies for seemingly no reason at all. Or something really horrible happens, those hardest times in life you know…
Yet, looking back and going through those challenges with time and in hindsight, you can always find something that you go; okay, now I see the positive outcome from this horrendous event. It is those lessons that come with such situations, for example, policies have been developed from horrible situations, which then prevent more or even worse to happen in the future.
#4 Comparitis is a mind disease
This is something that we all suffer from at some point… Comparing ourselves with the Joneses, who seem to be living the life of Riley. This is harder with social media platforms like Instagram presenting Picture perfect lives of influencers.
Here is the deal and I focus a lot on this message in my complimentary gift to you “The 7 Vital Self-check Health. Stop comparing yourself to others, full Stop.
It truly is an insult to your divine self. Comparison of self to others literally means you don’t appreciate yourself. I am not saying don’t appreciate others or look up to/be inspired by others. That’s okay.
Yet thinking that for instance; people live the lives they show on social media as the norm is delusional. You have no idea what’s going on in their lives behind the scenes. People post on social media what they want you to see. Not their real life most of the time.
When it comes to career and life goals, focus on being better than you were yesterday, your competition is in the mirror. Stay on track with your dreams, focus on your progression in life and that will keep you so much happier and negative thoughts at bay. “Gratitude is the direct way out of comparison.” – Robyn Conley Downs. If you ever get thoughts of you trying to compare or compete with other people negatively, turn it around and instead rejoice with them. It will create opportunities to multiply the good times you get to celebrate. By grabbing every chance to sincerely congratulate or celebrate others on their success, you create an atmosphere for others to willingly celebrate your successes.
Focus on what’s good in your life right now and all of the great things that you’re doing to stay on top of your game.
If you are looking at other people, it should really be about being happy for them and being thankful for what’s possible. Support and cheer them on if you know them because what goes around, comes round.
Yes, it is human nature and can be inspiring to check out other people’s journey whom we believe are more successful than us. Yet, it is counterproductive to focus so much on where they are, without understanding their deeper journey, so much so, you feel inferior to them! That is self-sabotage at its best.
I know it’s easier said than done yet stopping yourself from comparing with others is something that you can practice daily to stay on the happy train.
Otherwise, it’s true what Theodore Roosevelt said,
Comparison is the thief of all joy.
#5. Misery Loves Company – Stop Playing Victim.
Don’t be that person who goes through life constantly feeling like the world is out to get you and everyone dislikes you or that life is a drill, etc., etc. See, such people find difficulty in even the smallest issues, and they always think that it’s because life is out to get them!
This leads to so much stress, unhappiness, loneliness, and even depression. Like I said misery loves company, don’t be one of them.
If you ever find yourself in similar situations, for example at work whereby you complain about everyone, you’re always reporting everyone, you feel like everyone is against everything you do, or in friendships whereby, you always have the same complaints or issues with different people. Check yourself before making conclusions, it could be that you are that person who is too sensitive on everything, who thinks the world is out to get them. Listen, the world is so big and so busy, always try to appreciate and not pick on every little unnecessary thing. Be kind to yourself and others.
I love myself so much that little things don’t bother me. I have worked with people who will tell me about things that bothered them so much, yet similar things may have happened to me, but I thought nothing of them. I have always shown them sympathy. But the world is not out to get you, so please do not be that person. Love yourself so much to ignore petty things.
And with that, I hope this episode has helped you to release some of the negative thoughts that you have been holding on to and playing like a broken record.
Feel free to share in a comment below and let me know what you do to free your mind from negative thoughts I’d love to hear them.
Let me know if this episode on 5 Healthy Self-Help Habits to Reverse Negative Thinking helped you in any way and I will see you very soon in the next episode.
Self-Love. Belief. Empower
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